Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Fuck Howard Stern!


With all the media hoopla surrounding his Sirius radio broadcast, I have this to say: FUCK HOWARD STERN!

Yeah... I said it. Fuck him and his radio show. Fuck Robin as well. Freedom of speech is a bitch! If he can be "free" to say what he wants on his show, then I can be free to tell him to kiss my ass. I have a disdain for this man that goes back like mad years. What's my issue with Stern, you ask? Ignorance and stupidity in the name of entertainment. Racial intolerance and just overall tackiness. That's why I have an issue with Howard Stern.

What I don't understand is why his leaving a radio station for satellite radio is such big news. Okay, so he has listeners. He's popular because he can get chicks to show their tits and get damn near ass naked and that's all well and good. But the tripped out part is HE'S NOT FUNNY! Howard Stern has some of the most dry ass humor that I have ever heard, man! Ain't shit funny about folks farting all over the goddamn place! That's that schoolyard shit that little kids laugh at. Maybe he has a target audience... I don't know. But on the cool, the media can spare me the details about him being "free" and doing what he wants to do.

And Robin Quivers? That fucking sellout.

Does she get paid to just sit there and laugh like a coon? You might as well paint her face with the black polish and paint her lips white and call her "Sambo." I'm like "bitch... that shit ain't funny!" The things that Howard says, especially about Black folks, would garner an ass whipping from someone who don't play that shit. But I guess when you licking bootstraps and trying to make that paper, degradation is just a word.

I love comedy. But I like good comedy. I can only do so much of the gross-out factor. Howard Stern? I choose not to listen to him. I just wish the media would just chill on trying to make a chocolate cake out of some bullshit.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

R&B: Rhythm and Bullshit


When I see shit like this, it makes my skin crawl. One, because "Vibe" magazine is on some "out" shit and two -- what's with this one song shit? I am so trying to understand the world we live in where one song makes you a superstar! If you have heard Chris Brown's "Run," it sounds like an Usher "Yeah" outtake. I am not impressed. He can't sing to save his life and it just chaps my hide that now he is "the future of R&B."

Maybe it's for rhythm and bullshit because it is NOT the R&B that I am accustomed to.

When I think of R&B, I begin to think of cats like Etta James, ZZ Hill, Ray Charles, and Aretha Franklin. Not fucking Chris Brown. I'll even go so far as to include entertainers like Jodeci, Mary J. Blige, TLC, and Usher. But Chris Brown? WHO IN THE HELL IS THIS DWEEB?

The fucked up part about all this is this kid will be the flavor of the month and just as sure as my name is Poetic Rockstar, he'll be a has-been in a few months. Then what? We move on the next so-called "future of R&B." As someone who follows the ups-and-downs and ins-and-outs of the "music business," I see it all the time. Wasn't Ashanti the "Princess of Hip-Hop Soul" a few CD's ago? Now she can't even give away a copy of her greatest hits collection. Seems like many moons ago, Ja Rule was "the next 2Pac." What a joke he has become. And don't even get me started on Britney as the heir to Madonna and the new "Queen of Pop." She might as well take her swamp-digging ass back to Louisiana and be Kevin's babymama.

One song? One song. One song is all it takes to become the "it" person of the day. You get your video on MTV and the magazine covers and a few accolades off of one song nowadays. In the early part of 2005, it was Amerie with "1 Thing." I will admit... the song was tight. It was catchy and it got Amerie some love. However, I had issues with "Soul Train" awarding her the "Entertainer of the Year" for this "1 Thing." I just shake my head because it is ridiculous that this is what the modern day era of music has to give us.

Chris fucking Brown.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Vince-anity!



To be 100% honest with you, I am not a football fan. Never really cared much for the game and damn sure never had a desire to play. I think the last time I sat down to watch a football game, Bo Jackson was playing for the Los Angeles Raiders. As a matter of fact, that was the game in which Bo went down with the hip injury. I think that did it for me as far as watching the game.

I went to James Madison High School here in Houston, Texas. I attended a football game every now and then and cheered on the team because most of the players were friends of mine. At the time I went, our claim to fame as a school was the fact that Dino, lead singer of the group H-Town, attended the same school. Now, Madison is associated with another name: Vincent Young.

I don't know Vincent Young personally. Even if I were to walk through my old neighborhood, I wouldn't have a clue who the kid is. It's been said that he's from my old neighborhood of Hiram Clarke but I was probably long gone by the time he got to middle school. I give the dude props for leading the University of Texas to the national championship. I give him love for being a classy cat who is taking it all in stride as well. However, even though he just announced his intention to go pro, I'm already sick of the kid!

I know that's a shitty thing to say. You might think to yourself "you should be proud, Chris." I am. It's good to see a neighborhood cat make something out of himself. My only issue is the fact that the dude has yet to touch an NFL football and you can swear he's the LeBron James of football. So he makes the announcement that he's gonna jet outta UT early and suit up for the Big Leagues. Now, here's the fucked up part in all this: it was just last week that the whole country was going apeshit over this Reggie Bush guy. For those of you who don't know that name, he won the Heisman Trophy and was the star running back at USC, the team UT beat to win the title. Okay. Now everyone is speculating that this Bush guy is The Man and he's gonna be the #1 draft pick and you got teams intentionally losing just to grab the guy. Follow me, now. So he goes to the Big Game and on national television and gets his ass handed to him by Vince Young.

And now Vince Young is The Man.

Wasn't the same thing said about Andre Ware, Charlie Ward, Desmond Howard, and Ricky Williams? What came of those guys? They were college football media darlings who eventually saw their NFL dreams fizzle out. Poor Charlie Ward never even made it to the NFL. Nobody wanted him. Here's someone with the Heisman Trophy and can't get a job. Of course, we know what happened to Ricky.

I was reading today's paper where they said Vince Young could get up to $25 million in a guaranteed contract. For what? Winning one big game doesn't make you a fucking star? Shit, he could ride the bench forever, man! He hasn't even suited up or even made the cut? Not to mention, has anyone given any thought to the fact that the college level is a lot different than the professional level when it comes to sports?

I'm happy for Vince Young. Please don't get it twisted. Like I said, I don't know shit about football and could care less. But let me say this: with all the media hype surrounding this cat, God fucking help him if he doesn't produce. Hate to say it, but he'll go from being champ to chump.

Or better yet... just another rich nigga in the NFL.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Toni! Toni! Toni!




So now Toni Braxton is considering posing nude for "Playboy." Well, for one thing, I'd buy a copy! However, the question is "why, Toni?"

She looks good for a lady of 37. After settling down as a wife and a mother of two sons, Toni's got it going on. No doubt about that. But I'm shaking my head because there is a trend with singers and "Playboy" and that is once their respective career has dwindled and no one really cares much about them, off comes the clothes. I've seen it with LaToya Jackson, Belinda Carlisle, Jody Watley, Tiffany, and Debbie Gibson. Maybe it's to keep the public interested in their careers but the truth is by the time we see the airbrushed boobs and that little line of pubic hair, no one really gives a shit.

Toni Braxton has had mega-success. She has won numerous Grammy Awards, done television, films, and has even appeared on Broadway with the starring role in "Aida." Of course, the story of bankruptcy and her losing everything is legendary, but true fans have stuck with Toni through it all. There has been the reports of her heart condition as well as issues with her youngest son. Toni has been there and done that and has survived. Granted, her latest offering "Libra" has not met up to music industry expectations. But neither did the other CD, "More Than a Woman." What does that spell in record industry politics? Has-been status.

Right around the time she dropped her sophomore project, "Secrets," Toni appeared on the cover of "Vibe" magazine wearing nothing but a bedsheet and a serious look. It damn near sent shockwaves through the world. "How could someone of her status do such a thing?" Many people wondered why did she resort to getting naked to sell an album? Especially when her debut project sold so many millions of copies and she appreared to be such a wholesome young lady with such an amazing voice. It baffled many. "Secrets" sold well and awarded Toni with more Grammy gold and then her world started to fall apart. She took some much needed time off and rebounded in 2000 with the hit album, "The Heat." She accepted her 2001 Grammy Award in a barely there dress and put J. Lo's overhyped dress to shame. Toni was back.

The world wasn't ready for the hip-hop version of Toni with her "More Than a Woman" project. Working with Mannie Fresh and the Cash Money Millionaires, Toni saw this CD become a flop. She did TV work and gave birth to another son as well. In 2005, she dropped her fifth CD, "Libra." As of recently, the project has not brought Toni Braxton back to the charts where she once ruled.

So now comes word of a nude layout for "Playboy." Should anyone be surprised? I'm not. I just hate that this late in her career this is what she resorts to. Maybe it would've been different had she done this at the height of everything back in 1996 or even 2000. But now?

What's there left to show?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Mariah Makes Me Eat My Words!

All I can say is damn. Just... damn. She made me eat my words.

I feel like I am this small.

On the first day of 2006, I copped my first CD. Mariah Carey's "The Emancipation of Mimi." I tried so hard to steer clear of Mariah and her new music. See, I remember "Vision of Love" back in 1990. That Mariah. The songbird who had the high-octave range that reminded you of Minnie Riperton. I remember Mariah in the black leather jacket on "MTV: Unplugged" singing "I'll Be There" with Trey Lorenz. This Mariah? The hip-hop, cleavage-exposed, barely-there-dressed Mariah? Uh-uh... I wasn't buying it. I wanted to hear her sing again. I didn't wanna see Jermaine Dupri all in the videos and all over the damn songs! I saw what hip-hop did to Toni Braxton. She can't even give her CD away now!

Seems like for all of 2005, it was Mariah. I couldn't get away from her. "We Belong Together" was everywhere. There was her image on magazine covers and her videos were all over the place. After her disastrous "Glitter" project of 2002, I was done with Mariah. I felt like her time had come and gone and she should drop a greatest hits package and be done with it. "Charmbracelet?" You gotta be kidding me, right? I don't even remember the hit singles from that CD.

So, this past Sunday I am out and about and I copped the CD. I popped it in the CD player and as I'm driving and listening to the music, my reaction is "goddamn!" The shit was bumping! Several tracks like "Shake It Off" I had to play again just because the beat was so thumping. I'm driving and thinking to myself "Mariah came with it, man!" Then, my next reaction was "why didn't I cop this a long time ago?" In all honesty, Mariah made me eat my words.

The last great comeback that had everyone ranting and raving was Prince and his 2004 CD, "Musicology." Before that, I would say rewind 20 years and you see Tina Turner and the "Private Dancer" project. If you wanna say Mariah had a great year and call it a comeback, I would have to agree. Mariah Carey redeemed herself. Now I'm hoping that she does clean up at the Grammy Awards because she has earned it. She knows how to crank out the hits and on the cool, her teaming with Jermaine Dupri makes for some great music. Now if Jermaine can do for Janet Jackson what he did for Mariah... then we can really call him a "bad motherfucker!" For some reason, I think JD just might do the damn thing.

As for MC... I'm a fan again.